In our day and age, social media is practically unavoidable. Billions of people use social media for networking, influencing, educating, and many more purposes. Social media is how so many people connect today, making it ingrained in society and most of our lives. Most social media platforms require users to be at least 13 years of age before signing up, but the average age to first sign up for social media in the United States is 12.6 years old, according to CNN. When people sign up for social media at younger ages and use it regularly during their teen years, it can cause them to develop distortions about their lives and others, leading to feelings of inadequacy through comparison.
It’s easy to forget how curated social media can be when only the glamorous parts of everyone’s lives are shown to you on the regular. It makes teens feel like they’re lacking. As stated by Michael Torres, PsyD of Kaiser Permanente, “Social comparison often happens when you feel like you’re not experiencing the lives others are portraying in their posts. It can be hard not to feel bad about yourself. Especially if others are showing the best moments of their lives or making each post look as amazing as possible.”
Whether it’s looks, lifestyles, or status, there is a false sense of uniformity in everyone’s paths, when in actuality, nobody’s life looks the same beyond their screens.
Most teens go through things that others cannot see on the outside, and can feel alone in their struggles when they see their peers on social media with seemingly perfect lives. According to Odyssey Teen Camp, a Massachusetts summer camp for LGBTQ teens, “When teens are constantly comparing themselves to their friends’ social media “highlight reels,” it can be really hard for them to feel good about themselves because what they’re seeing are illusions.” It’s easy to make assumptions about others’ lives when you’re not viewing it in real time. It can feel like others’ “highlight reels” are their entire lives and that everyone is living a ‘perfect life’ but you. That your problems are only your own and nobody understands or can relate to you, which is an extremely isolating feeling that is often glossed over.
However, nobody is alone in their struggles. Real people dealing with real problems are simply a part of life, regardless of what social media tries to convince people. The less polished, grittier realities of everyday life oftentimes go unseen because of social media’s constructed performativity. The majority of people only post what they want you to see, and most of the time, it’s not the vulnerable moments.
You can’t always tell the difference between what’s true about someone’s life and what isn’t, resulting in overthinking and sentiments of being alone, creating a heightened sense of insecurity for teens and making them feel secluded from what’s in the real world.
The distortion between the ‘real world’ and what’s on social media feels understandable when it’s hard to tell what’s real, what’s unrealistic, and what you should be expecting for your own life. Even then, there’s no one way to live life or one pace to live it by. Recognizing that everyone else’s lives are just as unique as your own helps break down the alienating and lonely feelings that the constant comparison being on social media can bring.
