Thanks to the talents of the up and coming security personnel, Mick Mazo ‘25, Jones College Prep’s class of ‘25 was able to have a successful post-homecoming study session.
Homecoming weekend was Mazo’s first ever security gig, but his dedication and expertise showcased his potential in the business, which has gone ignored by his classmates for far too long.
“I knew that Mazo was looking at security as a future career, but I honestly just didn’t think he had it in him,” said longtime friend of Mazo, Mikael Lean ‘25. “He’s like a teddy bear, I had no idea he had such a rough side.”
Mazo’s skillful use of a wiffle bat warded off hundreds of intruders throughout the night, providing tranquility for the individuals studying inside and a force to be reckoned with for the z-listers waiting out front in hopes of entering.
“It was truly terrifying,” said Lean. “He showed absolutely no remorse with his weapon. The only thing left of his victims when he was finished with them was a student ID and a wet pair of underwear laying on the sidewalk.”
The duality of Mazo on homecoming night solidified the gratitude JCP students have for him, as his talents can be appreciated from many angles.
“One minute he was swinging his bat around like nunchucks and the next he was gently helping his peers into their Ubers,” said Sally Sing ‘25, an avid study session fan. “A lot of people tend to study too much, especially the night of homecoming. I’m glad he was able to nicely remove them from the premises, because these are the studiers that are always causing a ruckus and getting us shut down.”
Participants of the study session shared that their feelings of safety increased tenfold with Mazo standing guard outside compared to other study events they had attended in the past.
“I am always down for a good study session, but the potential dangers of attending are always in the back of my mind,” said Reina Smith ‘25. “Being able to study after homecoming in peace was such a relief. I really hope that my grade continues to hire Mazo in the future.”
After his first event’s success, Mazo sees endless opportunities ahead. He has found something he can both excel in and make a decent living off of.
“Give me a bat and a security vest and I’ll be a millionaire soon, I swear,” said Mazo. “I’m hoping to land an internship with a reputable security company this summer. It shouldn’t be too hard for someone with my level of expertise. I just hope they pay me better than the study group did. Dem white girls fleeced me.”
Mazo’s friends feel beyond proud of how far he progressed in such a short amount of time and have no doubts that they will soon be receiving invites to his personal mansion.
“I’ve already contacted frequent study session-throwers about having Mazo work as security for them in the future and they agreed to pay him twenty bucks an hour,” said Lean. “I am beyond excited for Mazo and grateful to be a part of his rise to fame. I’m sorry for ever doubting him, he is a truly talented individual.”
The Class of ‘25 thanks Mazo for stepping up to the plate and promising to maintain peace for everyone who loves to study up until their graduation, and hopefully beyond.
“I live, laugh, love study sessions,” said Bertha Brown ‘25. “They are my everything and I am eternally grateful that Mazo is helping them to continue, and especially for removing the riffraff that used to always sneak in. I’m going to try and stay in Chicago for college so I can utilize his top notch skills as a college student.”
