The student news site of Jones College Prep High School


The student news site of Jones College Prep High School


The student news site of Jones College Prep High School


Satire: TNF;Carolina Panthers @ Chicago Bears

Two of the worst teams this season face off on primetime Thursday Night Football

There was much hope for the Chicago Bears this 2023 NFL season. The entire organization and fans believed that Justin Fields would be “that guy” under center. They thought the offense would fire on all cylinders. That did not happen.

“He could be the guy for all we know, the Bears are just historically terrible at developing quarterbacks,” says Khalil Mack ‘25, a lifelong and tired Bears fan. “Everyone says, ‘wElL yOu GuYs PaSsEd Up PaTrIcK mAhOmEs In ThE dRaFt’. The bears’ organization would have destroyed his career the minute he stepped into the building!”

This year there was much hope for the Bears to finally get back at big brother, the Green Bay Packers. With Aaron Rodgers shipped off to the New York Jets [that went well] and the Packers having a very young roster, the Bears finally have a chance right?

“38-20 loss” says Virginia Halas McCaskey ‘61, a very old fan. “The guy we traded the first round pick for, DJ Moore, went 2 for 2 for 25 yards. How does that happen?! How does a top wideout we traded a lot for only get 2 targets? And how was our quarterback the leading rusher? Obviously he’s a dual threat, but at the same time we have to use our running backs!”

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The games that followed would not be good for the Bears. Matt Nagy ‘26, a fan of the Bears since before the double-doink, recalls the season.

“Week 2 we looked better, DJ Moore stepped up with over one hundred yards but of course Fields threw 2 interceptions and the Buccaneers defense played well.” Nagy recalls. “Week 3 was a total humiliation that surprised absolutely no one and Taylor Swift was at the game, so of course the script writers weren’t gonna have us win either. Week 4 against the Broncos was the only time since Week 1 I got my hopes up. It was a complete domination by the Bears. Fields look really good, the entire offense looked good. But the defense suddenly remembered they were part of the Chicago Bears and sold the game to the Broncos.”

Week 5 came and the Bears showed out with a big win against the Washington Commanders with a score of 40-20.  McCaskey gives her opinion on the game.

“The whole team showed up that day. Why can’t we play like that every week? Well, I know why, the Commanders aren’t good, but still! DJ Moore for 200 yards? Where was that effectivity all season? We’re still not a good team at all and there are a lot of places we still need to fix, but a win is a win”

Now fast forward to week 10 and the bears are at a 2-7 record facing off the Carolina Panthers (1-7) on Thursday Night Football. Mack previews the game between the Bears and Panthers.

“For some reason, the people who are in charge of making the schedule decided to put 2 of the worst teams on primetime,” says Mack. “If Amazon wanted to increase Prime subscriptions by having TNF, this face off was not the right call. Sadly for all football fans who want a good show, games can’t be flexed out until Week 13. Week 10 Thursday Night Football, a team who is still living off of Super Bowl L (the Panthers) versus a team who has no idea what plays they want to call half the time (the Bears).”

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