SATIRE: Authoritarian AcLab

A rise in dictatorial teachers due to the new AcLab system


*All names in this story are fiction 

Ever since AcLab was changed to have students in locked rooms with teacher supervision, teachers have been using a new system to control students as much as possible. 

Under the new system, those who originally just had to attend their AcLab room for check-in now must spend the entire ninety minute period in the room under the strict supervision of their AcLab teacher.

Benedict Harrison spoke to his endorsement of the new arrangement as an AP Calculus teacher.
“Before, students used AcLab as an opportunity to be rowdy and socialize,” said Harrison. “Now, students are much more in line. In my AcLab, they are not allowed to eat, talk, or blink without permission.

English teacher Sarah Flapjack has been utilizing her AcLab to get her students to read classic literature. 

“We are currently reading War and Peace,” said Flapjack. “Although many students have struggled with the texts, I encourage them with friendly remarks.” 

A student of Fritz’s AcLab, Zoey Polkins ‘23, spoke against the idea that Flapjack’s encouragement is ‘friendly’. 

“When I voiced confusion over the symbolism of the sky in War and Peace, Ms. Flapjack told me that I would make nothing of my life if I could not form my own intellectually driven conclusions about the text,” said Polkins. “Being in her AcLab has damaged my self esteem, and I would much rather be spending this time with my friends.”

Polkins recently organized a student-led protest against the mistreatment of students due to the new AcLab setup. However, many teachers responded to this by locking their classroom doors so that their students were forced to stay inside. 

“Personally, I see nothing wrong with this,” said Harrison. “Dissension with authority only creates trouble. We teachers have the duty to strictly control our students by whatever means possible.”

A mere ten students showed up in the school’s lobby for the protest. Michelle Carson ‘24 cited fear as her reason for not going to the protest. 

“I really don’t want to get in trouble with my AcLab teacher,” said Carson. “That would only make AcLab worse, when I already have to listen to my teacher’s Nickelback mixtape.” 

Despite students being outraged by many teachers’ abuse of the AcLab system, the teacher who has sparked the most student outrage has been Biology teacher Samuel Lart, who has created a social hierarchy in his AcLab based on his personal preferences. 

“The most well-behaved students in my AcLab get priority seating, and are allowed to use their phones and talk,” said Lart. “It’s completely fair, and a very basic reward and punishment system.” 

Polkins voiced her problems regarding Lart’s system. 

“Mr. Lart is only doing this so there will be less opposition,” Polkins said. “It’s also unjust to treat students differently based on their behavior.”

Flapjack responded to the concerns about student mistreatment. 

“At the end of the day, we teachers have the authority, and students are under us,” Flapjack said. “For them, it is what it is.”